This is something that just goes to show how lucky we are to live in Canada. It shows how different some peoples' lives are compared to ours. Imagine falling in love and being killed by your own parents because of it. I know you may have had some relationships where your parents were not too keen on your choice of friend but this takes it to a new level.http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/pakistan-stoning-kills-pregnant-daughter-who-married-for-love-1.2656544
1) Is this another case of women's rights not being safeguarded?
2) Do you think this happens more than we think? Not necessarily a killing but at least a break-up caused by the parents?
3) If you were to be sold off into marriage (man or woman) how would you react? How do you think the other party feels too?
4) Does somebody need to step in here and tell them this is not right or is their religious/cultural right to act this way?
This is my post for the week:
ReplyDeleteI would just like to begin by saying how sad this article was to read. This woman did what we today see as a commitment into a loving, and respectful relationship with someone else. This woman married the man she thought she loved, it was not suggested that she had been sleeping with him previously; rather she was just killed because she married the wrong man in her parent’s eyes.
Culturally, the parents were not happy that their daughter had not only disobeyed them, but entered into a contract for life in doing so.
Personally, I don’t think a woman should have to be forced to live her entire life in a way she does not support. BBC states that Muslim parents often will arrange marriages, in hopes of providing a successful if partner for their child, but that they are not allowed to force them into the situation, or embarrass them because of it. She clearly did not want to marry the man her parents had planned but, unfortunately even if the parents are not allowed to force their daughter into marriage, they can often feel like can change their daughter’s mind.
It is sad to think that the woman was beaten in front of a courthouse. The police should have been close enough to stop it, and the people walking by could have stopped. The problem in this situation in the generally accepted view on the parent’s authority, the requirements of the children, and the level of punishment that the public believes is allowed to earn. It would take a change of public attitude to make progress on the amounts of killings. This was in daylight!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/ritesrituals/weddings_1.shtml
http://www.islamawareness.net/Marriage/marriage_article001.html
I agree the police should have tried much harder to keep this woman alive, especially because they probably could have saved her and she would still be alive. Nice post !
DeleteI totally agree that this kind of thing is wrong but you kind of have to stand in their shoes to see the differnt culture.
DeleteLike it may seem completely wrong in our culture as canadians with rights and all that but over in those countries there laws are much more traditional and thats just the way it is. The reason someone didn't help that poor girl is most likely because it is common and isn't out of the ordinary. Stories like this may seem completely outrageous but for those people, if a daughter disobeys them, then she is not worthy to live.
sad but culture and tradition are very strong ties to community's and countries that are very difficult to break.
I like your comment about how people sometimes over look something because it is done by the parents. Parents do have authority over their children but still gives them no right to abuse their child. As for the case in question, I think its extremely hard to judge someone on their beliefs but it still digests me to see that these things are still happening around the world.
DeleteThis is my weekly post;
ReplyDeleteFirst of all i feel these sort of archaic religious morals or "traditions" are entirely out dated and obviously go against basic human rights. Women in places where society is run by over powering, proud and unforgiving men have no chance at freedom to love who they want or do what they want until mentalities are changed drasticly. They are seen to be mans possesion, only needed to carry out the family name or cook. They literally have no quality of life and i find it so disguisting.
This is not only another case of women's rights not being safeguarded, they are being completely ignored. They hold the same rights as a goat in the sense that they are traded for the benefit of man, i mean obviously women are not goats but they are treated almost as poorly which is ridiculous with the amount of positive change that has already happened around the world.
I do feel that this happens more than we think, but we just dont hear about it because it happens in far away places and is almost never made public because it is a "family matter". Families and husbands are extremely controlling in Muslim coutries and they basically control every aspect of their daughters or wives lives. It doesnt matter if they are unhappy in their arranged marriages, if they want to live they obey. Which is so pathetic.
If i were to be sold into a marriage i would be furious because i think love is so important and if i just get stuck with some man 30 years older than me and my only job is to be pregnant and do household chores than i would probably just kill myself. Living as a man's slave is no way to live at all, and due to the strong hold religion has on society in those countries there would probably be no hope of me getting free. I also wouldnt want my children born into that life so that would test me morally. I can almost guarentee that none of those women are happy and would leave if they had the chance to. My arranged husband probably wouldnt be too upset about it considering he would be getting a sex slave, a cook, and a maid for free and who couldnt talk back.
I mean telling other countries and religions how they live is wrong can for sure cause some major issues in the world because culture is such a touchy subject across the world. No one wants to step on anybodies toes so they just let these atrocities continue. I think for change to happen the men need to come to terms with their mistakes because they will always be in power even if the women speak up. I wish someone could step in and save these women from this heavy oppression theyve been under for centuries. But sadly i dont think that will ever happen, not unless change starts from within the country rather than from outside influences.
Here is a page of facts about marriage in Islam, though most of it is untrue. http://www.islamawareness.net/Marriage/marriage_article001.html
Nice post! I agree in wanting someone to intervene to save these women but unfortunately it doesn't seem likely due to the fact that it is a part of religion/culture. What I think should at least happen, is that we should educate these men on the brutality of what they are doing, they need to realize the severity of what they are doing, for sure
DeleteI agree with what you said about other countries not wanting to step in because it can create issues. This has always been a problem: We want to do something to help because we feel that these women deserve their own free will. On the other hand, we might be crossing a line. We can't just tell other countries what is and isn't right. Our cultural and societal norms are our own and do not have to be anyone else's. We often forget that...
DeleteThis archaic tradition certainly violates women's rights. In many of these countries, there is never a point in a woman's life where she does not belong to a man; she lives under her father's rule during the early years of her life and then spend the rest of her life living under the rule of a man who could be a complete stranger. The fact that a poor woman was stoned as an "honour killing" because she chose to married the person that she loved rather than someone chosen by her father is despicable and makes me very grateful that I live in a country where we all have the choice to marry whomever we want. We can even decide not to get married but these girls in other countries fear that they will be killed if they disobey their male superiors. Taking in account that honour killings and arranged marriage are a part of culture and tradition for many countries, I don't believe that it is ever an excusable transgression. Men and women have been living on earth together for millions of years and these religious and cultural misinterpretations are perpetuating gender inequality and patriarchy on a global scale. In my opinion,someone's cultural or religious beliefs should NEVER be effecting others' fundamental human rights and freedom. We are all citizens of one planet and we all deserve equal respect and freedom; certain intervening measures should take place to stop others from violating others' rights and equality.
ReplyDeleteIn arranged marriage, young girls are prematurely put into situations that they are not physically prepared for whether it's a grueling life of slaving over her husband, obeying to his sexual demands, or even childbirth, these young girls aged 11-17 are too young physically and mentally. While further researching arranged marriages, I came across this article that highlights that chilling stories of girls who lost their lives because they were not physically mature enough to engage in sexual intercourse and childbirth:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1264729/Child-bride-13-dies-internal-injuries-days-arranged-marriage-Yemen.html
^this was my weekly post, by the way.
ReplyDeleteIt is horrifying and extremely sad to here that this kind of violence is going on. To be killed by your own parents is something I couldn't even imagine anyone doing such an act. I think with this particular story it is not necessarily saying it is the woman's fault for their marriage because they were attacking both of them but I feel that the woman's family think they have a right to murder their daughter for disobeying them, although the only cases that I could find were only about the women being killed or severely injured by their family. It may be for that fact that men do possess more power in this country and/or religion/culture therefore they are more approving of a man choosing his own wife unlike the position the daughter is most likely in.
ReplyDeleteI believe that this does happen quite often than we believe. It may not even be about religion, but about certain social class or even just a family name. There are books and films written about this kind of thing e.g Romeo and Juliet one of the most famous stories of all time. Juliet having already an arranged marriage but marrying someone that was her family's enemy.
If I had an arranged marriage I do not know how I would feel. If my parents all of sudden told me know I would be furious but if it is something I have been planing and knowing about my whole life I may be content with it. The article I read (below) told about how a women in India had an arranged marriage ever since she was 10 and they taught her that her parent-in-laws were her 'real parents.' If you have that kind of influence upon you at such a young age it is hard to break that thought process into thinking you can actually choose your own partner. A famous quote from Fiddler on the Roof when the daughter is asking her father about arranged married he says "you grow to love each other" and some people believe that is all that love is so arranged marriage is something everyone can compromise on.
However the way that the parents went about this is completely wrong. Taking an innocent life is never ok. I understand that they did not see her as innocent but they should be shown and be taught that she has every right to choose her spouse. If she wants an arrange marriage then so be it, if not let her be.
Religion and culture is such a hard thing to break and we are constantly fighting the wrong within it. These people seem so far behind in what sate of mind Canada is in that it is going to take many years until they see what we see, which should make us want to open their eyes even more so due to the fact that they are so far behind.
That was my weekly post and her is my link source about the women in India.
Deletehttp://www.adistinctivestyle.net/india-arranged-marriage-gone-horribly-wrong/